Symbiotic Ninja
by gryphonsson
Summary: Ichiaraku Ramen is burnt to the ground and its owners killed in an attempt to starve Naruto to death... literally. He is then saved from death by a strange being... NaruFemHaku, T for slight language.


GS: (comes through riding a motorcycle) THE READERS ARE COMING! THE READERS ARE COMING!

Naruto: He must've pigged out on the sugar…

GS: (rides back the way he came) THE LAWYERS ARE COMING! THE LAWYERS ARE COMING!

Sasuke: Right… GS doesn't own Naruto, so why are the lawyers coming? (Gets run over by GS)

GS: THE CLOWNS ARE COMING! THE CLOWNS ARE COMING!

Naruto: Uh-oh… another Lawyer-Clown War…

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Chapter I: Famine

Naruto (age 5) was humming as he walked to his favorite place in the world, the ONLY place that would sell him anything to eat, Ichiraku Ramen. He was out of ramen, so he was going to buy some more. The only reason he was still alive was because Teuchi, the old man that ran the stand, and his daughter Ayame sold him normal ramen when he had time and instant ramen for every other time. And boy, did he love ramen! Even at age five, he had a ramen addiction!

Suddenly Naruto stopped in curiosity and sniffed the air. He always had a good sense of smell. That's how he got to Ichiraku's: he followed the scent of ramen! However, now that he was closer, he could smell smoke as well, and something else… He ran to Ichiraku's, only to freeze in shock once he saw it.

The stand was burnt to the ground. Some of it was still burning; that's where the scent of smoke came from. But that wasn't the worst part…

Teuchi and Ayame were dead.

Not only were they dead, but what was left of their bodies couldn't be recognized. The only thing that hinted at who they were was the Ichiraku hat near both bodies. Judging from the kunai lodged in the bodies' chests, it was obvious they were killed.

Naruto was trembling violently. The only two people to treat him well were killed. And he knew why. It was because they associated with him. Not only that, but they were his only source of food. Everyone wanted him dead, and normal means had never succeeded, so they got rid of his food, and were trying to starve him to death. He ran from the scene.

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1 Week Later…

Naruto was staggering along, half hoping someone would put him out of his misery. He was starved to the point that you could see the outlines of his ribcage. His eyes were dead inside from guilt and grief, his skin pale due to the lack of nutrients (A/N: Not sure if the skin part is biologically correct, but anime tends to defy all laws of science anyway, so…). Finally he gave in to his physical exhaustion, fell to the ground, and slept.

As he slept, a strange orange blob (A/N: I'm just guessing here, so if someone could get me a picture of an unbonded symbiote that would be appreciated) moved toward him. It wanted to help…

Naruto woke up to find himself in what seemed to be a dimly lit sewer. Several feet away was a cage. A voice came from the cage. "COME HERE." Naruto moved to within a yard of the cage before another voice called out from behind him. "I wouldn't trust him if I were you."

Naruto looked at the source of the voice to see a figure in an orange suit with a blue spider on the front and back. "Who are you? Where am I? Who's in the cage?" Naruto croaked.

The figure merely inclined its masked head and spoke. "I am Famine, a symbiote. My title is First of the Five, not that that means anything to you. The furball in the cage ("I'M NOT A FURBALL!") can wait for now, as I do not know what it is myself, and we are inside your mind."

Naruto took a moment to digest all this, then asked, "What's a symbiote?"

Famine chuckles, then turns serious again. "We symbiotes are special beings from another universe that can't survive long without a host, with a select few exceptions. In exchange, we give the host certain powers."

Naruto nodded slowly, saying, "You want me to be your host, don't you. Question is, why me?" The symbiote gave a soft smile.

"The Five have been watching you for some time now. We have seen your life, and we are impressed. A while ago, most in your position would have snapped, committed suicide, or struck back a long time ago. Yet you did not seek death, you did not retaliate, and your sanity has remained intact. You are not only an excellent host for a symbiote, but you are worthy of bonding with one of the Five. Given your situation as of the moment and my… unique abilities, I was chosen to bond with you."

Naruto looked puzzled. "The Five?"

"The Five are the exceptions I mentioned about symbiotes needing to bond. Their names are, in order from Last to First, Ragnarok, Pestilence, Death, War, and yours truly. The ranks, First, Second, Third, and so on, are based upon our ages. I am the youngest, so I am called the First. Understand?"

Naruto nodded slowly. "Alright, but what are your powers?"

"Any host I have gets his strength increased tenfold, no longer needs to eat or drink, although he may do so anyway if he wishes. He is immune to all acids and poisons, can eat through almost anything and absorb almost any energy, including what your people call 'chakra.' He can also spin webs and climb walls, but those are standard symbiote powers." Famine chuckled, as Naruto was quite literally drooling at the thought. "However, there are drawbacks." That snapped Naruto out of his thoughts. "My host will share my vulnerability to the cold, will feel pain upon contact with anything too cold, will need to redirect any absorbed energy eventually, and cannot eat through anything harder than steel." Famine grinned ruefully while rubbing his jaw. "Trust me, I've tried."

Naruto grinned. "So if I let you bond with me, I can do all that stuff? Awesome! What does it start?"

Famine chuckled. "It's already been done. It's the only way I could communicate with you," he added quickly, seeing Naruto's frown, "and if you had said no I would've gone away. Besides, I couldn't bond with you fully until you gave me permission to do so of your own free will. Besides, you were about to die of starvation."

Naruto's eyes bulged. "NANI?!? Why didn't you tell me in the first place?!?"

"Well, seeing as my powers would have helped you, I wanted to see if you wanted to live first! I didn't want you to feel pressured!" 'Good grief, I give him the honor of bonding with one of the Five, and now I'm on the defensive side of an argument!'

"Oh… okay then. When do I wake up, and how do I talk to you when I'm awake?"

"Well, I can hear your every thought. Just think about me and I'll answer. As for waking up, just focus on waking up."

Naruto nodded and closed his eyes…

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Naruto's eyes opened to see the Third Hokage standing over him with his mouth open. 'Let's see… white walls, check. White ceiling, check. White floor, check. Bed, check. Yep, it's a hospital.' Then he noticed the Third's case of Flycatcher's Syndrome and started giggling. "Ne, Jii-san, you look like a fish!" The Third then fainted. Naturally, Naruto panicked. "OI! SOMEBODY GET OVER HERE, JII-SAN'S HAD A HEART ATTACK!" After the Hokage was revived and he assured Naruto he was fine, he explained what happened.

- - Flashback - -

"Hokage-sama, the monitor's flatlining!"

"We're losing him!"

"He's dead…"

The Hokage sighed. Naruto, the eternal optimist, the one he saw as a second grandson… was dead. He looked at the body mournfully. 'If only… wait, what's going on?' Naruto's bone-thin body was filling out, turning into that of a perfectly healthy 5-year-old in seconds. 'What in the name of Kami?!?'

"Hokage-sama, you're not going to believe this, but we have a pulse!" The Third did a double take in the direction of the monitor, and sure enough, the heartbeat line was no longer straight. 'WHAT IN THE NAME OF KAMI JUST HAPPENED?!?'

- - Flashback End - -

Naruto stared at the Hokage. "So let me see if I got this right… I died."

The Third nodded patiently. "Correct."

"And then I came back."

"Yes."

"To life."

"Pretty much."

"Okay then. Can I have some ramen?"

Cue sweatdrop. "You don't have the slightest curiosity as to what happened?"

"I already know what happened. How about we go get ramen, and I tell you what happened."

"Okay then…"

The Hokage was then abruptly dragged out of the hospital by an eager Naruto.

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(Camera zooms in on a giant room where opposing lawyer and clown armies are battling it out)

Lawyer: (Cream pie lands on suit) I'M HIT! Go on without me… (falls to ground)

Clown: (gets clubbed by suitcase) Ow… (falls unconscious)

GS: (pokes his head out blast door) Yeah, R&R! (Quickly sticks head back in and closes door)


End file.
